What a tinder box we live in,

Stranger: Yes.
You: Gladly!
Stranger: Why.
You: Tomorrow
Stranger: Don’t answer that.
You: I’m so sorry.
Stranger: As you were.
You: And then there were none.
Stranger: So, it has come to this?
You: There have been worse days.

Stranger: They were the times I recall.
You: The best of times, and the worst of times.
Stranger: I am what I am.
You: You are what you eat.

You: I mean, I’m definitely worried about the tea.
You: But I guess our argument is a little worrying too
You: We’ll see tho brah.
You: Two breh’s in a pod never split too far apart.
Stranger: There’s no scientific proof that backs that claim up.
Stranger: And I have scientific proof that backs my claim up.
Stranger: Your thoughts on that?
You: I feel as if I have been pushed into the limelight without fair warning of this interview. But I will gladly respond to your question per request.
You: I would love to be informed of this scientific proof you speak of.
Stranger: Yeah you’ll do as you’re told.
Stranger: And
Stranger: ya know
Stranger: that’s just too bad.
Stranger: Cause I can’t find it
Stranger: here.
Stranger: With me.
Stranger: It’s here somewhere, I just seemed to have misplaced it.

Stranger: Why do you hate all that love you?
You: You’re going to have to be more specific, there brah
Stranger: Why do I love you?
Stranger: Er I mean that’s not the question?
Stranger: Oh boy oh no.
You: Oh man. Look, I already had that bowl of rice earlier.
You: People are going to start looking at me different.
You: Maybe even through mirrors and stuff.
You: Or through those stupid shutter shades.
Stranger: So, you don’t like my shades now?
Stranger: Man wtf brah.
Stranger: I spent a lot of donut money on them.
Stranger: If you know what I mean.
You: Right, now that money is made of donuts.
You: I really like where the government is going with that one.

Stranger: You just don’t listen to me anymore.
You: It’s hard, when all you ever talk about is that girl.
You: That’s all I ever hear about
You: That or your penguin in the fridge.
Stranger: Bro
Stranger: again.
Stranger: That’s not a penguin.
Stranger: That’s my uncle.
You: Whatever, man. Same thing.
You: You just need to get some new material
You: That’s all I’m saying
You: Plus, why do you even have that guy in there still anyway?
Stranger: New material for my couch?
You: Yeah, I threw up on it last time I was over.
You: Sorry.
Stranger: Oh, that was you?
Stranger: I threw my lawnmower away for no reason, then.

Stranger: That would go against the laws of
Stranger: uh
Stranger: nature.
You: Well, Newton doesn’t think so.
Stranger: Cam.
You: And he’s the father of time.
You: Dude, I love him too.
Stranger: Dude, where’s my
Stranger: Fig?
You: CAT
You: Fig newton. HHOHOHO
You: Merry Christmas..
You: And a happy new
Stranger: OH DEAR GOD A HAPPY NEW WHAT?!

You: give me something to write with, or give me hell.
You: something to write with = liberty
You: hell = death
Stranger: Patrick Thomas was a great president.
You: He made really good sandwiches for us.
Stranger: Invented peanut butter knives.
You: It’s funny to think back to a time when we didn’t even have those.
Stranger: It’s not funny at all.
Stranger: What a sick sense of humor you have.
Stranger: People died back then brah.
You: I’m embarrassed for Michael Edison for not inventing those when he threw that fish bowl out into the sky during the snow storm.

Stranger: I’m not sure yet.
You: I’ll let you know.
Stranger: When?
You: Tomorrow at 7:42 pm.
Stranger: What a weird time.
You: Wear your cat’s pajamas.
Stranger: I ate my cat the other day.

this was 500 times more hilarious at like 5 am I promise. and actually this may have been more like a 4 hour conversation.. what on earth was I doing.